Back Home: The Relationship Experiences of Women Serving in the Reserves during the "Iron Swords" War

The "Iron Swords" War, which erupted in October 2023, led to a large-scale and prolonged mobilization of military reserves, characterized by an unprecedented participation of tens of thousands of women in combat and combat-support roles. This historic reality challenged traditional gender roles during national emergencies, presenting complex challenges to the family and marital unit when the woman is the one deployed long-term. Extant research indicates that prolonged absence from home, exposure to extreme stress, gaps perception between the frontlines and the home front, and difficulties transitioning back to routine are phenomena that can evoke tension, impair intimacy, and destabilize the systemic marital balance.

This study focuses on the experiences of female reservists in committed relationships, aiming to examine the implications of their prolonged service on their marital bonds from their own perspectives. Focusing on this population is vital, as most research in the field of military and family studies has traditionally focused on men as servicemen and women as partners on the home front. Consequently, the voices of the serving women themselves - as the primary anchor absent from the home - have remained largely absent from the literature. Understanding their experiences allows for a nuanced integration of the unique gender complexities faced by a woman navigating between an operational identity and traditional societal and marital expectations during wartime. This complexity was further compounded by the life circumstances of most participants, who were in relationships where their partners also served in the permanent forces or the reserves, thereby establishing a "dual-military" household dynamic. 

Utilizing a qualitative, descriptive-phenomenological approach, this study seeks to uncover the essence of the phenomenon through the participants lived experiences. The sample comprised 16 women aged 21–35, who served in various roles within the war effort for one month or longer during the "Iron Swords" War, and who had been in a relationship for at least one year prior to the outbreak of hostilities. Data was collected through semi-structured in-depth interviews conducted between February 2024 and February 2025, amidst an ongoing reality of combat and uncertainty. The transcripts were analyzed using phenomenological thematic analysis, which combines a systematic identification of codes and shared patterns, yielding four central themes that reflect the relationship dynamics.

The findings outline a complex picture but point to an overall trend of strengthening the marital bond. The first and central theme addresses renewed closeness within the relationship amidst a destabilized existence, examining the diverse and vital functions the marital bond served for these women as an anchor and a source of resilience. The second theme describes a decline in disclosure and reduction as a coping mechanism, highlighting a tendency toward self-censorship and protective concealment from the partner. The third theme focuses on physical intimacy as a distinct space of vulnerability and change, constituting a unique arena for processing return and closeness. The fourth theme, between mission and guilt, reveals how the women's reserve service was experienced as a disruption of the gendered and marital order, evoking tensions between societal expectations and operational roles. Despite these gendered tensions and reduced disclosure, the participants' experiences emphasize that the couple system did not collapse for most interviewees; rather, it moved toward deeper intimacy and growth. 

The significance of this study lies in expanding the gender-focused academic body of knowledge regarding family and couple dynamics during national emergencies, while providing a unique and authentic voice to women in Israel who serve in combat and combat-support reserve roles. On a practical level, the findings offer valuable clinical insights and practical tools for therapeutic professionals supporting couples through processes of return, readjustment, and the rehabilitation of relationships and intimacy in the shadow and aftermath of prolonged combat situations.