Men and Women's Perception of Motivation for Parenthood in Late Singlehood: The Contribution of Parental Acceptance-Rejection in Childhood, Capacity for Intimate Relationships, and Level of Social Support

Current research on singlehood presents a complex and diverse picture, reflecting significant social and cultural changes in the perception of relationships, family structures, and motivations for parenthood. In this context, one of the prominent phenomena is the global trend of delaying the age of marriage, resulting in an increase in the number of single men and women and a postponement of parenthood. Several factors influence this trend, including shifts in accepted values (placing greater emphasis on individualization, educational and career opportunities that were previously unavailable, economic considerations, and changes in religious perceptions). The State of Israel, where the current study was conducted, is characterized by high fertility rates and pro-natalist policies, so late singlehood and delayed parenthood encounter the tension between modern trends of individualization and traditional social expectations.

The current study is based on Self-Determination Theory (SDT) and examines the contribution of early experiences of parental acceptance or rejection, capacity for intimacy, and perceived social support to explaining motivations for parenthood (autonomous motivations and controlled motivations) among single men and women aged 30–40, some of whom are in various stages of non-formalized relationships.

The study population included 260 participants (159 women and 101 men), secular and heterosexual, who were sampled through convenience sampling via social media and the "snowball" method. After receiving approval from Bar-Ilan University's ethics committee and obtaining participants' consent, they were asked to complete anonymous online questionnaires on topics such as parental acceptance or rejection during childhood, capacity for intimacy, perceived social support, as well as motivations for parenthood.

The study's findings indicated significant differences between men and women in motivation for parenthood. Men, contrary to expectations, displayed higher levels of both autonomous and controlled motivations for parenthood and attributed greater significance to having children compared to women. Additionally, participants in relationships reported higher levels of motivation for parenthood, emphasizing the importance of relationship stability in decision-making processes, while singles tended to delay their planned age for parenthood.

A high percentage of participants (59.2%) reported a lack of awareness regarding their fertility status, consistent with existing literature on the impact of medical knowledge on delaying parenthood.

Personal and social factors were found to significantly contribute to explaining motivation for parenthood: The capacity for intimacy was associated with higher motivation for parenthood and served as a mediating factor between parental acceptance during childhood and motivation for parenthood. Positive parental acceptance during childhood predicted a greater ability to form intimate relationships, which in turn led to higher motivation for parenthood. Conversely, the capacity for intimacy did not mediate the relationship between relationship status and motivation for parenthood. Parental acceptance during childhood was linked to higher motivation for parenthood, while parental rejection was associated with lower motivation. Social support was found to moderate the relationship between parental acceptance or rejection during childhood and motivation for parenthood. In situations of low social support, parental rejection during childhood was associated with lower motivation for parenthood. However, at high levels of social support, this negative correlation disappeared or even became positive.

The findings align with Self-Determination Theory (SDT) and emphasize the importance of a supportive environment in shaping autonomous motivations. They also highlight the contributions of gendered, personal, and social factors to decisions related to parenthood. The study emphasizes the need for interventions aimed at strengthening intimacy capacities and social support alongside a deeper understanding of gendered and cultural influences in Israel on perceptions of parenthood and related decisions.