Disclosure and Concealment: Experience of Orthodox Population Adults Who were Exposed to inter- Personal Violence in their Childhood

A child exposed to domestic violence experiences a complex and multidimensional experience, which brings about various negative consequences to his life (Lindstrom et al, 2018; Øverlien, 2010; Walker, 2017). The research literature shows that early identification of exposure to domestic violence is a necessary element in preventing later physical and mental health problems (Osofsky, 2018). There is also immense importance in social support for the victims of violence in minimizing the negative consequences, since the exposure of the violence to various factors has a significant effect on receiving this support (Ringel & Bina, 2007). However, there is considerable difficulty regarding the disclosure and the reporting of the violence (Izaguirre & Cater, 2018), particularly in the ultra-orthodox community where secrecy and denial are intensified in these cases (Bitton, 2014).

Despite the great importance of examining the issue, there is little knowledge about the experiences of adults who were exposed to violence in their childhood (Øverlien, 2010; Carmel, 2016), in particular from the ultra-orthodox population (Tener et al., 2021). Although the existing qualitative studies refer to the consequences of exposure to violence, they do not specifically focus on the meaning of the concealment and disclosure of the exposure. Therefore, the purpose of this study was to examine the experiences of adults of an ultra-orthodox background who were exposed to marital violence between their parents in their childhood, focusing on the disclosure and concealment of these experiences as part of their coping process.

The research was conducted using a qualitative method through semi-structured in-depth interviews with adults from ultra-Orthodox backgrounds who were exposed as children to violence between their parents. The study population included seven women and five men in the age range of 19-36. All the participants work or study, some define themselves today as ultra-Orthodox and some as non-religious. Five of them are parents. The analysis of the findings brought up four central themes related to the adults' retrospective view of the violence they experienced in their childhood. The first theme dealt with concealment versus exposure and discovery of the experience of violence. This theme described a dynamic movement of the interviewees along an axis, starting from "primitive" and basic self-concealment as denial and dissociation, up to concealment from others directed outward. The second theme dealt with the attitude towards the attacker, the violent figure in the home, usually the father. The attitude towards the character of the attacker is described as ambivalent and complex. There are various strategies that the interviewees use to express this ambivalence and complexity: Minimization - the reduction of acts of violence in order to protect the attacker and present him in a more positive light; blaming the victim (the other parent) and/or self-blaming; identification with the attacker; and a search for rationalization for the attacker's actions. The third theme dealt with the characteristics of the ultra-orthodox population when encountering domestic violence. This theme was divided into two sub-themes. The first sub-theme is the involvement of the community in dealing with violence. This sub-theme focused on two key aspects regarding the type and degree of involvement of the ultra-Orthodox community in dealing with violence, as perceived from the perspective of the interviewees: The lack of community involvement in stopping the violence and the tendency to "silence" the ongoing violence, alongside ineffective involvement of the community in cases of violence. That is, even when there was an intervention in the treatment of violence, it was not done effectively. The second sub-theme also dealt with two key aspects regarding the religious perception within the reality of inter-marriage and family violence: the first aspect is the perception of violence as contradicting religion, and the second aspect is the perception of violence "in the name of religion". The fourth theme focused on the consequences of the exposure to violence, including intrapersonal consequences that include psychiatric diagnoses, various personal feelings, and emotions (that is, focusing on myself), and interpersonal consequences that include social difficulties, use of violence, and intergenerational transmission (that is, focusing on the relationship with the other). Despite the attempt to create a dichotomy between short-term consequences and long-term consequences, it is evident that sometimes this separation cannot be made. Finally, it seems that besides negative consequences, some described resilience, and strength as "positive consequences" from the chaotic reality in which they have experienced.    The stories outline the complex lives of children in the ultra-Orthodox community, who grew up in the shadow of marital violence between their parents, and the significant consequences that such a traumatic environment had in their adulthood on their emotional development and behavior patterns. Although these children have become adults, in many cases it seems that they remain in the violent experience that accompanies them for many years and affects many aspects of their lives to the point of shaping their personality in various ways. It seems that the themes reflect and describe a life experience employed by the interviewees in three circles: the first circle is the circle closest to the individual, and it is directed towards the self (reflected in the theme of concealment, as opposed to exposure and discloser). The second is a wider circle that is directed towards the attacker and family members (reflected in the theme of attitude towards the attacker). The third circle is the widest and is directed towards society – the Ultra-Orthodox population (which is reflected in the characteristics of the Ultra-Orthodox population confronting family violence). . Finally, the experience of children growing up in the shadow of marital violence between their parents and the traumatic environment in which they grew up have significant and noticeable consequences on their emotional development and behavior patterns in their adulthood. The way in which the various circles shape their development is reflected in the theme of consequences.

This study is the first of its kind and is therefore of great theoretical importance, as it sheds light on the experience of adults of an ultra-orthodox background who were exposed to marital violence between their parents in their childhood; an issue that has not yet been examined in depth. In addition, this study has practical importance, since understanding these experiences may open a discussion about the prevailing policy towards children living in the shadow of violence as well as an open future studies on this topic. Moreover, the research findings can provide knowledge that may lead to the development of intervention methods with children exposed to intimate partner violence, and the development of programs at the community that will enable faster identification of children in these distress situations, culturally sensitive manner. It should be considered that there are significant consequences on the lives of children who are exposed to violence, and not only children who have experienced direct violence. The present study encountered difficulty in locating these children, which emphasizes the important role of the educational, therapeutic and community frameworks.