The Perception of Parental figures and the Significance of Religious Belief in the lives of Adults in the Ultra-Orthodox community, who were exposed to Intimate Partner Violence in Childhood

Exposure to Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) is, unfortunately, a common phenomenon that receives a lot of research attention, most of which concerns the variety of negative, short, and long-term consequences of the phenomenon on children. Several studies have indicated that there are those children who will not develop harmful consequences and might even develop resilience, defined as a process of successful adaptation when facing distress, trauma, tragedy, threat or other sources of substantial stress, or getting back to one’s self after surviving difficult experiences (The American Psychological Association, 2015).

Research has shown that a number of helpful factors can contribute to the development of resilience, including religious belief and a close relationship with at least one parent. These factors are not independent, but rather are interdependent and interrelated (Fogarty et al., 2019), complicating the analysis of the contribution of these protective factors toward facilitating the development of resilience.

The ability to benefit from the powerful resources of faith and religious belief is one of the most prominent characteristics of the Ultra-Orthodox community, which constitutes a significant percentage of the entire population of Israel. However, little is known about this community from a research standpoint in general, and in relation to the phenomenon of exposure to intimate violence in particular.

There is, therefore, a need to understand in depth the experiences of exposure to violence as children within an Ultra-Orthodox environment, as well as the consequences of that exposure as adults. The current study is unique in that it allows adults from this essentially closed community to freely express their views. In addition, it allows them to identify the connecting factors in their lives, as well as those resources that helped them develop resilience. Finally, this research also aims to assess their unique needs.

The current study focused on the factors that helped these individuals, set against the background of their dealing with the experience of exposure to intimate violence. The main questions that guided the research are (1) What is the perception of parental figures in a childhood surrounded by IPV? (2) What is the role of faith in the face of exposure to IPV?

The study included 12 adult interviewees, men and women, who had been, or are still, members of the Ultra-0rthodox community and were exposed to IPV as children. To recruit participants, advertisements were posted on social media networks and peer groups of professionals in the social work field. Three researchers interviewed the participants included in this database, during the outbreak of COVID-19, and the interviews were conducted remotely, using “Zoom” software. After recording and transcribing the interviews, the recordings were archived. All identifying details of the participants were excluded throughout the writing of the entire work, to ensure that the interviewees would remain anonymous.

The research was carried out using an interpretive qualitative method within a semi-structured in-depth interview (Shakdi, 2003). The data analysis was based on the "square model", which allows the researcher to examine the text from a holistic perspective, while also focusing on its parts (Lieblich, Toval-Meshih, and Zilber, 2010).

Three central interpersonal themes emerged upon analysis of the research findings: The first theme deals with the character of the violent father, how he is perceived and the nature of the relationship of the participant with him. The majority of participants emphasized the need to preserve and protect the figure of the father, to maintain their benevolent perception of him. They did this by legitimizing his violent acts, even minimizing them, out of a need to protect the father figure, who is seen as more influential and stable than the mother within the family unit. Some of them also described a figure valued by the community, which contributed to the feeling of appreciation and respect toward him. Negative attitudes toward a father depended on the ability to perceive the seriousness of the violent acts as such. Those who were able to admit that the violence was both negative and offensive were also able to express anger and frustration at their father's behavior. It is important to note, however, that these participants constituted only a minority.

The second theme deals with how the mother is perceived. Unlike the perception of the father, the mother figure in this case, who is also a victim of IPV, faces a web of expectations that she mostly fails to meet. She is perceived as a weak victim who failed to protect herself and her children. As a result, all of the participants described their lack of ability to either trust or depend on her, and some even described the need to protect her. Together with this, some participants expressed a sense of frustration and anger at what was perceived as a maternal inability to satisfy basic needs such as protection and security. Surprisingly, any expression of positive feelings, such as empathy, toward their mother was rarely mentioned, and only a minority of the participants perceived her as having any strengths or abilities.

The third theme deals with the participant’s connection with another central figure, one that is not objectively real by nature, but is presented as particularly significant in the search for attachment – the figure of God. In the context of their childhood exposure to IPV, the participants described their relationship with God and its impact on their lives. A lack of parental protection, coupled with the distress they were experiencing, led the interviewees to find consolation in their relationship with God, in the longing for a benevolent relationship with He who is perceived as the spiritual father. There was a wide range of emotions expressed towards God: frustration, disappointment, hope, etc. Within this religious-spiritual context, participants felt hope for continuity and meaning, while believing that any events that took place were actually for the better. A minority of the participants described their lack of connection to religion and spirituality during their childhood, as related to the practical aspects of religion, prayer, and fulfilling mitzvot, which increased the stress they were subjected to during their earlier years.

A fourth and last theme deals with the separation discerned by the participants between religious faith and the practical aspects of religious observance. Each aspect of this seeming dichotomy is described in a separate manner by the participants, who feel that, for the most part, belief in God is a separate experience not dependent on fulfilling the mitzvot. This separation is in direct contrast to the interconnectivity they learned at home and at various Haredi institutions, where they were taught to see a correlation between fulfilling the mitzvot and the strengthening of spiritual faith. The fluidity described in this chapter presents an interesting picture, according to which avoidance of mitzvot, for the most part, does not harm the strength of the relationship with God and faith. This section connects to the previous themes, in the description of the split between faith and ritual, and in the perception of the figures of the father, the mother and God.

It is clear from the research findings that IPV negatively impacts children's ability to form relationships and place their trust, robbing them of the meaningful relationships that are essential to helping them cope with these experiences. It was found that almost all the participants were successful in maintaining a relationship with one of the aforementioned significant figures: father, mother, or God. While most of the participants described their connection with God as strong and significant, one participant, who was unable to maintain contact with any of her parental figures, described difficulties maintaining her current connection with God, as well as having experienced mental illnesses, social and adjustment difficulties, from childhood to the present day. Except for this specific case, the other participants reported being able to adapt well to adulthood, both socially, professionally, and with family.

In addition to shedding light on a phenomenon that is poorly understood, this study contributes by focusing on the unique characteristics of the Ultra-Orthodox population. The current research adds new aspects to the existing studies in the field, concentrating on mature children from the Ultra-Orthodox population who were exposed to IPV in their childhood (Bitton, 2014; Band-Winterstein's 2014). The research is unique in that it focuses on how adults from the Ultra-Orthodox population internalize the protective factors that have been found to contribute to the development of resilience: their faith and their relationships with their parents. In this research, a connection is made between the eventual consequences and the children's experience, as examined in the present (Carmel, 2015; 2016; Shurok Na'amana, 2014; Sagi Vedan, 2001 and Goldblatt, 2001), and from a retrospective point of view. Additionally, this study addresses a need in current literature for qualitative studies in the field and for making the voices of these children heard, perhaps even helping to promote relevant policies and solutions for dealing with IPV in the Ultra-Orthodox community.