Acceptance of Negative Emotions in a Relationship and its Contribution to Marital Satisfaction

Introduction

Modern society in Israel regards family as an important value, crucial for the existence and continuity of society. One of the most significant variables for establishing a family is the nature of the couple's relationship, which is embodied in their satisfaction from the relationship (Bradbury et al., 2000).

One of the variables that may affect marital satisfaction is the ability to cope with conflicts in general, and the ability to bear negative emotions in particular. All marriages involve occasional conflicts, so the way in which conflicts are dealt with, rather than their very existence, is what predicts couple satisfaction (Madden & Janoff-Bulam, 1981; Markman et al., 2010). Despite the importance of this variable, accepting negative emotions is a relatively new topic of research in the field of cognitive-behavioral psychology (Herbert & Forman, 2011), and to the best of our knowledge, its impact on marital relationships is not sufficiently researched.

Most conflicts in a marital relationship stem from conflicting needs of both spouses. Therefore, another variable that may affect marital satisfaction is the sense of entitlement in the marriage. A sense of entitlement is the experience of being worthy of care and nurturing (Tolmacz & Mikulincer, 2011), and it has been found that when spouses feel like their needs are unfulfilled in the marital system, that feeling may translate into a high sense of entitlement, creating distance between spouses (Shahid & Kazmi, 2016).

In addition, various studies have found that the couple's attachment pattern also plays an important role in the ability of both spouses to establish an intimate and secure relationship (Iwaniec & Sneddon, 2001; Banse, 2004;). Attachment style has also been found to be related to the sense of entitlement in a marriage and to its degree, so that is not too demanding nor too avoidant (Tolmacz & Mikulincer, 2011).

Hypotheses

The present study examined the mechanisms that contribute to marital satisfaction among heterosexual married Israeli couples. Following recent studies about the importance of accepting negative emotions for mental well-being, the present study hypothesized that the degree of acceptance of negative emotions within frustrating incidents in the marital relationship would be associated with higher marital satisfaction. Moreover, and in line with past research, the present study hypothesized that a sense of entitlement in a relationship would moderate the association between the acceptance of negative emotions and the degree of marital satisfaction, and mediate the known association between attachment style and degree of marital satisfaction.

Method

The study data were collected through an online questionnaire, using a convenience sampling among the general population. The final sample included 131 participants (55 women and 76 men), aged 21-58, who are in formally married heterosexual couples. Subjects were asked to answer a series of self-report questionnaires that addressed demographic variables, the ability to accept and bear negative emotions (Bond et al., 2011), the sense of entitlement in a relationship (Tolmacz & Mikulincer, 2011), the experiences in close relationships (Brennan et al., 1998). ) and marital satisfaction (Calahan, 1996).

Findings

The findings of the study suggested that the ability to bear negative emotions predicts high marital satisfaction, while insecure attachment and a high sense of entitlement in marriage predict low marital satisfaction. Moreover, it has been shown that a sense of entitlement in marriage mediates the association between the ability to bear negative emotions and marital satisfaction. However, the sense of entitlement was not found to moderate the association between the attachment style and marital satisfaction.

Conclusions

The findings of the study demonstrate the importance of the ability to bear negative emotions and accept them for the success of the marital relationship, as reflected in the couple's satisfaction with it. In this context, the study may point to the possibility of implementing individual therapeutic interventions with one spouse alone to advance the marital system, especially in times of crisis, when one or the other spouse is not available for therapeutic work. Furthermore, this innovative research may be a starting point for ongoing research that will enrich the understanding of therapists who work with couples and individuals who have difficulty maintaining beneficial marital relationships.