The Contribution of Recollections of Childhood Parental Acceptance, Self-Differentiation, Interpersonal Anxiety and Fear of Intimacy as Predictors of Relationship Satisfaction Among Spouses

The purpose of this study was to examine the relationships between perceived parental acceptance-rejection in childhood, differentiation of self, interpersonal anxiety and fear of intimacy, and the attribution of the above to relationship satisfaction among couples. Moreover, the study examined the dyadic contribution of one partner on the other; specifically, how fear of intimacy of one partner will relate to her/his partner's relationship satisfaction. In addition, how relationship satisfaction of one spouse will relate to her/his partner's relationship satisfaction.

The study is based on two theories that refers to individual's relationship with his parents: Parental acceptance-rejection theory (Rohner, 2016), suggesting that experiences/recollection of parental acceptance and rejection during childhood affect one's psychological adjustment, shaping one's interpersonal relationships in adulthood, in particular the relationship of couples. The second theory is Bowen's systemic family theory (Bowen, 1978), assuming that differentiation of self evolves in family-of-origin and affects one's ability to balance interpersonal anxiety and establish intimate relationships.

Method: 142 couples (284 spouses) married and in cohabitation aged 23-42 participated in the study and answered 6 self-report questionnaires: RAS assessing relationship satisfaction, PARQ assessing adults' reflections on their childhood experiences of maternal and paternal acceptance-rejection, DIS assessing levels of differentiation of self, IRAQ assessing interpersonal anxiety, FIS assessing fear of intimacy, and a demographic questionnaire.

The first hypothesis which postulated a positive correlation between perception of parental acceptance in childhood and differentiation of self was partially confirmed. A positive correlation was found between maternal acceptance and differentiation of self, but not between paternal acceptance. The second hypothesis which postulated a negative correlation between perceptions of parental acceptance and interpersonal anxiety, was confirmed only for maternal acceptance among the husbands. The third hypothesis which assumed a negative correlation between differentiation of self and interpersonal anxiety, was fully confirmed, as was the fourth hypothesis which postulated a negative correlation between differentiation of self and fear of intimacy. The fifth hypothesis, which postulated a positive correlation between interpersonal anxiety and fear of intimacy was confirmed, as was the sixth hypothesis which postulated a negative correlation between fear of intimacy and relationship satisfaction. Moreover, hypotheses seven and eight, assuming there is mutual contributions between spouses were fully confirmed. These hypotheses postulated a negative correlation between fear of intimacy of one partner (wife or husband), with the relationship satisfaction of the other spouse. The ninth hypothesis assumed there will be a positive correlation between one's relationship satisfaction, and her/his spouse's relationship satisfaction was also confirmed.

Examination of the research model showed that for wives, fear of intimacy partially mediates the associations between perceptions of maternal acceptance-rejection and relationship satisfaction. In addition, the husband's relationship satisfaction contributed to the wife's relationship satisfaction. For the husbands, similar to the wives, it was found that fear of intimacy partially mediates the associations between perceptions of maternal acceptance-rejection and relationship satisfaction. Moreover, the associations between differentiation of self and relationship satisfaction was fully mediated by the husband's fear of intimacy. In addition, the wife's relationship satisfaction was linked to husband's relationship satisfaction.  

To conclude, the study highlights the differences between husbands and their wives regarding fear of intimacy and its impact on relationship satisfaction, and moreover the differences in the impact of maternal acceptance vs. paternal acceptance in childhood as perceived by the participants.

The study supported Bowen's theoretical assumptions regarding the link between childhood experiences in family-of-origin (in our study, from perceptions regarding maternal acceptance) and level of self-differentiation, and interpersonal relations (in terms of relationship anxiety and fear of intimacy), which affect both partners' marital relationship satisfaction.

Clinical implications: This study's contribution lies in the extension the understanding of the complexity of intimacy formation in a couple's relationship, from aspects of perception of parental treatment and differentiation of self, and its implications on interpersonal relationships and clinical practice regarding couples' relationships. The study emphasizes the contribution of intimacy to understanding the satisfaction of couples with their relationships, as well as their intimate partner's satisfaction. On the clinical level, the findings of the study might contribute to a focus on its variables in clinical interventions. Specifically, it is recommended to highlight the dyadic contribution during conflicts and where there is difficulty in establishing intimacy, as well as highlighting experiences of family-of-origin which spouses carry into their romantic relationships, to develop therapeutic interventions and promote couples' well-being.