Growing Pains: Young Women's Retrospective Views of Loss and Mourning During Adolescence as Stimulus for Personal Growth

Adolescence is characterized by separating from the self-scheme that has crystallized up to that point in time, in favor of building a mature self-identity. A pivotal developmental goal during adolescence is processing physical, emotional, social and behavioral losses involved in the separation process, and coping with the stresses. This developmental process is conceptualized by two theoretical foundations: The Psychoanalytic and The Psychodynamic Theories (Freud, 1915, 1917; Klein, 1940; Kohut, 1966) and the theoretical approach of Positive Psychology (Tedeschi & Calhoun, 1996). Both these approaches focus on the notion that the experience of stress evoked by loss, leads not only to adaptation and/or to recovery, but also to growth and personal development.

The aim of the current research was to observe adolescence in the light of these theoretical concepts and to explore the retrospective perceptions of women in their twenties and early thirties in relation to symbolic losses they experienced during their adolescence, the resources available to them and the way in which these resources enabled them to process the loss and mourning, to grow and to formulate a self-identity. Another goal was to examine whether it was possible to suggest a theoretical integrative model regarding adolescence, that would include both the Psychoanalytical approach and the Positive Psychology approach. 25 participants answered a semi-structured questionnaire containing open questions regarding the story of their adolescent days. These written stories were analyzed using the Thematic Classification System and the Hermeneutic Method.

The content analyses highlighted 3 major symbolic losses: physical, parental relationship and idealistic values, and in roles and expectations (responsibility). In each one of the loss types additional dimensions were mapped. It was also found that changes during adolescence were perceived as stressful events and experienced as a symbolic loss which initiated differing coping processes amongst the participants.  

Similarly, it was found that the participants’ stories spontaneously integrated descriptions expressing benefit finding in the experience of loss; These descriptions were conceptualized based on the Psychodynamic approach and the Positive Psychology approach, as expressions of growth following the experience of a loss.

Moreover, there were found losses in stories not related to specific changes found in adolescence, for example financial difficulties in the family. These losses were also examined utilizing the two theoretical basic assumptions of the research and it was found that in the case of these participants there was less vacant space to experience symbolic losses, and therefore the growth, if described, was related more to coping with the stressful events or the significant losses they experienced. 

In the stories there were descriptions of factors perceived as assisting or complicating in coping with the difficulties of adolescence, which were conceptualized based on the above mentioned methods, as resources which either assisted or retarded. Amongst the inner resources found there were for example: optimism and self-efficacy. The environmental and social resources found included: family intimacy, connection with peers, participation or instructing in youth movements, hobbies and areas of interest.  

The findings of this research theoretically substantiate the perception that sees the experience of symbolic losses as a necessary process on the path to growth and development, a process of maturation and formation of self-identity during adolescence. On the practical level the findings suggest an integrative model mapping adolescent losses and the resources which either assist or retard in coping with them, and has the potential to assist professionals working with adolescents, or with young people bearing unresolved adolescent experiences